The New Abnormal
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I’ve started hearing the phrase “our new normal” when people discuss post pandemic life. According to Webster’s dictionary normal is “conforming to a type, standard, or regular pattern.” Hmmmm. A regular pattern seems a long way off.
After any major personal or professional loss, you’ll often hear people say, “I just want to feel normal again.” In my experience, building a new normal takes time – a long time. And even once you build it and feel it, you still sometimes look back, and long for THAT normal. Not to be too confusing here – but that longing part is normal too.
I’m thinking our “new abnormal” might be a better way to describe what the next few years will bring. And our leaders will need some new skills to help their teams navigate through the rebuilding, especially since we’ll be doing it for a while.
In grief work, I often share the Dual Process Model of bereavement with teams. It’s a way of helping frame what a grieving colleague might be experiencing. There is often a pendulum swing between two very different states of mind. There is the deep sadness and utter despair where it seems there is no new normal to be had. And there is the sphere of restoration – where you still need to get up and go on with things in your life. The back and forth movement between the two might happen multiple times in a day and by understanding this, colleagues feel better equipped to be supportive.
Not everyone has experienced this time as a period of loss. But many have and so it may be that we’ll see this pattern in our teams as they try to create their new normal about work, home and family. And as leaders and colleagues, it will not be enough to simply “outsource empathy” or this rebuilding of normal, to a professional. Of course, external supports are so helpful and if the organization can offer them, wonderful. But, for the other 40 or so hours of your work week when the employee isn't with their counsellor, coach, or therapist, they’ll be with you. They are on your team, wanting to contribute and all of us can help.
Noticing skills for sure will be part of this. Understanding the flow of loss, grief, and transition and maybe transformation will give us all more patience and energy to be supportive - and compassionate. Compassion Focused Leadership.